A continuation of World War Women I. Last week, we uncovered a sneaky and vicious cycle in the war we rage between each other. A cycle that leads to feelings of defeat and resentment. Competing not to be better, but to keep up. In this Crisis of Comparison, we can also war to feel better than.
Some of us work really hard to maintain the self-belief that because of the choices we make, things we believe, lifestyle we live, etc. we are above others. It’s an armor to keep others away and bolster our sense of significance. Yes, some of us are called to lead and there’s a significant difference in true leadership and competition disguised as leadership. For this week, here are 3 key ways we wage Better Than Wars against each other as women:
1) War on Body:
You see it in statements like, “real women have curves.” Really? So unless you have a curvy figure you’re not real? Or overweight women automatically being judged as lazy and unhealthy. There’s a multitude of reasons why people are over or underweight. Either way you’re viewed as having an eating disorder, right? 🙄
Basically we attack anything we feel like we want and don’t have. Tall v. Short. Curly Hair v. Straight Hair. Big Boobs v. Small Boobs. We spend billions achieving what we believe to be perfection. From Eve and the apple we’re predisposed to want what we can’t have, and take it out on ourselves and each other in the process.
We damage ourselves physically and emotionally chasing after body perfection all the while loathing the women we feel like have it. Every single one of us is made in the image of The Most Beautiful, Glorious Being. He IS Creation. No beginning and No end. Isn’t there room enough for us all to be beautiful? VeggieTales: A Snoodle’s Tale is my absolutely favorite and portrays this gorgeously!
2) War on Status
Have you ever noticed that we’re always competing for who has the most or the best? Who has the best clothes, who has the best home, who’s highlight reel looks the most appealing. Who’s got the better job, etc. Why can’t we encourage each other to find our purpose, whether or not that purpose looks like ours or looks like our definition of success? We all have fruit to produce for His Kingdom and can be adopted into His Family! God’s Word teaches us to consider others greater than ourselves. If we align ourselves with the truth of who we are in Him, it frees us to sincerely and healthily do so without baggage.
Look at Single v. Married. Dating v. Courting, etc. I need another post for that! But I’m sure you get the deal! I will say if you are single, guard your heart against any doubt, judgement, fear, or pressure internally or externally. You are worthy of love and you are LOVED. God sees you and has a purpose that’s between you and God.
And if you are married, be mindful of how and what kind of support and encouragement you offer or are asked to give. Take it all before The Throne first! If you’re single, don’t discredit what your married friends have to say either. Embrace and respect one another for the seasons of life you’re in. The struggle can be real on both ends, each with its own unique set of perks and challenges which rightfully can’t be compared. They’re just different.
3) War on Moms:
Here’s another one that’s gotten way out of control. I don’t care if you have 0 children or 25. Vast is the list of ways women can mother. Whether you stay at home, work from home, work out of the home. Whether your kids are in daycare or not. Whether you homeschool or not. Whether you pack lunch or not. Whether your kids are trending or not. Whether your house is clean or not. So what you didn’t wash your hair today and your mom-friend found a way. Both of you are just fine. It doesn’t make either one of you less of a mom or less of a woman. Moms can be brutal to one another.
No mom is perfect and Mom comes in many shapes, sizes, and purposes. Biologically speaking a Mother is the one who conceived/birthed you from her womb. But you can also be an adoptive mom, a foster mom, a spiritual mom, even a fur-baby mom 😉. Be the best mom you are called to be, but the mom you are is not the mom she is!
I would probably be dead right now if God in His Beautiful Providence had not planted a few women throughout my life to gift me with glimpses of what it feels like to have a mother’s love. They were an oasis for me. I know the best way to repay their love and kindness toward me is to follow in their footsteps and be that for others. Bottom line: We should be united. It takes a village. We’re designed to be in community with each other, not against each other.
Part III, the final blog of this series, explores what the Proverbs 31 Woman would look like through today’s cultural lens. I hope you find it entertaining and releasing!
Holy Spirit, give us the grace and wisdom to see ourselves and each other according to your beautiful design. Help us to be slow to judge and to anger and quick to be kind and encourage. Help us to open an honest dialogue between one another instead of harboring grudges and assumptions. Let your love overflow and empower us to live for one another and not against. In Jesus name, all glory to You, my God and King, Amen.
Live ALIVE Today,
Cindy
Live A.L.I.V.E. 