Call me the Taylor Swift of Bloggers. Inspiration for this blog came from a remarkably unlikely scenario: a seemingly innocent encounter with an old friend turned profound #deepthoughtswithCindy gamechanger.
Setting The Stage
Itโs about a week before we leave for our annual Mary Kay Seminar in Dallas, on a Tuesday afternoon. Iโm all dolled up for our weekly success meeting that evening, and my friends and I are shopping at my favorite store!
Iโm sitting on the waiting bench inside the fitting room area and who rounds the corner but a beautiful woman I havenโt seen in years and her sweet, growing-up-too-fast daughter. Wow! I didnโt know sheโd moved back to town and was overjoyed to see her! She filled me in on her job and how she gets to travel the world! Oh my gosh, Iโm elated for her! Sheโs living her dream! Yay! I love celebrating women and cheering them on toward their dreams!
Then she innocently asks me, โSo whatโs new with you, ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ?โ …. ๐ณ๐ ๐คฃ
Well when you ask it like that right after sharing about your world travels, howโs a gal supposed to respond? I donโt believe for a second she meant it to be a jab, but it did get me thinking. (Of course.)
To be quite honest, so much is new and wonderful, I was having trouble narrowing it down to something quick and platonic. I didnโt want to subject her with a lengthy conversation she wasnโt prepared to have in the moment. What is new with me? How do I sum it up in a way that a person in casual conversation could understand?
From her perspective, I can easily see how it might sound like nothing is new since last we saw each other. In many ways, my life hasnโt changed that much … but that all depends on perspective. Iโll attempt to bullet point what is new and then explain why her question stuck with me.
Letโs See …
1. My husband and I bought our first home. 
2. The world in which we do ministry was completely flipped upside down and is righting itself. Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness! Your ways are higher!
3. I discovered some hidden food allergies and since then have been able to wean off of a buttload of medication.
4. I took a leap of faith and quit taking a hormone medication that was ruining my life. The cost to my quality of life was too high, and I do not believe God puts us in situations where we must choose the lesser of two evils.
5. My amazing in-laws are moving back to Knoxville after over a decade away! Glory to God!
6. I had to step away from many very important people in my life which was unbearably hard and sad, but I know my Godโs got every single one of them just as He has me.
7. Iโve finally been able to grieve for myself after a lifetime of abuse, coming to some shocking realizations and furthering my fire for domestic abuse awareness.
8. I started this blog.
9. So much victory being experienced in my husband and I and those around us!
10. Iโm learning about worth and love that is redefining the way I view myself, The Holy Trinity, and ministry.
And the list could go on …
Perspective
Itโs really tough to quantify the spiritual and emotional growth thatโs taken place. And thatโs not a bad thing!! My husband and I both have been on this amazing journey of discovering our worth, allowing The Lord to heal us and set us free from a lot of bondage, baggage, and generational curses. Thatโs the most honest summarization I could give, but I just answered, โSo much, but we donโt have that kind of time!โ
Man, I wish I had given a more โspiritualโ answer! Haha! Do you ever do that? Reanalyze your responses? ๐ค
But thereโs still truth in the implication of โanything?โ; up until we bought our house especially and even until just recently my life had been sooo bland to an outside observer because I wasnโt being open. Not because Iโm content with the safety of a routine, but because I had stopped.
๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐’๐ฅ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ๐ด. ๐๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ด๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ง๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ๐จ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ. ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ “๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง” ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ธ๐ข๐บ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข “๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ’๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ถ๐ฑ/๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ’๐ต ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ๐ด” ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ธ๐ข๐บ.
I Used to Be Bold. Take Risks
I used to be audacious in the pursuit of my goals and dreams. And then life happened. And more life happened. Then even more life happened. At some point it felt like too much. Hadnโt I been through enough already? Is this really how itโs going to be the entire time I walk this earth? So I withdrew. I gave in to the negativity. What was the use? What is the point? Like Becca, โIf this is what I get for trying…โ
Pulling away wasnโt all bad, though. Part of it was feeling beat up by life because of the perspective I had given over to, but an even bigger part is that God told me to step back. It was in the midst of that obedience I gave in to mind monsters. The original decision was to obey Him. I was able to do a great deal of emotional and spiritual unpacking and reevaluating, and SO much more that I hope to write about in the future.
But I wasnโt living the Abundant Limitless Intentional Victorious Exuberant life Iโm called to live. It’s all stepping stones, though, and this simple question was a confirmation. I have to model LiveALIVE louder and better than the example I had been setting, otherwise the answer to her question may as well be, “No, same old same old.” (I don’t know about you, but that notion scares me!) 
Two Thoughts
First, how dare I whine and complain. Our suffering could never come close to His. Thank You, Jesus, for Your Grace. You know we will complain and lack patience. You know we will fall short and lack understanding. Yet, You love us the same. Father, forgive me for my dullness, my doubt, my lack of fire. Forgive me for giving in to the negative, for caring too much about what others think and not enough about what you think. A life ALIVE is a life well lived. Help me to LiveALIVE. I canโt do it without you.
Second, I am going to make mistakes, Iโm going to piss people off, Iโm going to step into sin. We all do, everyday. I was sinning by not trying just as much as I probably am when I am trying. Weโre never going to be perfect in this life. Iโm tired of pursuing perfection as a means of being closer to Him. It didnโt work in The Old Testament Law and it doesnโt work now.
I just want Jesus. I just want His love, His healing, His heart. I want to see people set free. Lord, do in me what only You can do. And if people continue to misunderstand that’s okay. No one is more misunderstood than You. How can I expect victory in others if Iโm not showing the victory in my life. Who would want it? Who would believe it?
So thank you, precious friend, for reminding me to always be grateful, always be prepared to give an account of the Glory of God in my life, and for confirming what I had already been feeling: Leading by example means positioning yourself in such a way so that the people who may follow you can see where youโre walking. I am far from the person I was even a few years ago, but who would know that if I donโt show it? Sharing isnโt about the sharer, itโs about the sharee.
“He must become greater, and I must become less.”
If an old friend were to ask you, โWhatโs new?โ Whatโs one part of your story that you could quickly share in passing to lift someone up?
LiveALIVE Today,
Cindy
Live A.L.I.V.E. 